Woke Bread: ‘Sustainably Baked With Wind Energy’ (Hard Pass)


As I meandered through the bread and bagel and all things full of gluten and fattening section at the grocery store today I stumbled upon a bread label that dumbfounded me. I just stood there like an idiot gawking and staring at the label on that bread bag because quite simply I couldn’t believe what it stated.

(Take a gander)

This wasn’t just any old loaf of bread oh nooooo…..this was special this was “Sustainable” bread- sustainable, leftist, non-carbon footprint, woke, save the whale, save the planet, mercury-laden and land filled wind turbine bread!

Wow. Just wow. I usually buy Dave’s Killer Bread (because quite frankly I’d rather support an ex-convict than these crazies).

I used to make bread from scratch like 20 years ago when all my young kids were living at home and ate like ravenous wolves all day long. And I’m seriously thinking of starting again because honestly, I don’t even want to go to the haunting bread aisle ever again! Furthermore, who wants to pay $5.68 for liberal bread?

I’m sure other brands will jump on the ‘sustainable wind energy’ bandwagon soon enough and pretty soon there won’t be any constitutional bread choices anymore! Bagels, muffins, doughnuts, croissants, pita, and flatbread will probably quickly take over the shelves with the liberal agenda very soon I’m most certain.

I looked twice to make sure no one saw me gaping and taking pictures of the ‘woke bread’. Oh well someone had to do it and that someone was me!

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  1. This is kinda silly in a region with so many people living off grid (none of whom are likely to be dumb enough to use electric ovens)


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